Sweet Valley University Recaps

Monday, October 3, 2011

I'm still alive

Hey everyone sorry for my absence, I have a plethora of junk going on but I haven't forgot about those stupid I mean really great size six blondes. I'll hopefully be back soon. Thanks for your patience.

My next recaps will be,The Evil Twin and Return of the evil twin hopefully in time for Christmas lol. XD

Sunday, May 15, 2011

SVU #21 For the love of Ryan

I'm back!

When I got this book out to read it I found a receipt from Target in it. Apparently I bought Gatorade, Popchips, and duct tape. My first thoughts are 'Mmmm Popchips' then 'Wow, duct tape is expensive!' Then 'Wait, when did I buy duct tape? Oh yeah when I moved last summer.' It's a valid question I lived at home until I got married so other people always buy that stuff. To answer the unspoken question I'm telling you this because It's more exciting than the actual book.

 To the book I say! It's the first of three summers in SVU. Now that I'm thinking about it it might be four but whatever. So we open up right at the beginning of the actual story with none of that "It's exciting because tomorrow we're going to...." crap. So hang on because this book has got it all, lifeguards, and uh....the beach....where the lifeguards work, and well, that's pretty much it. We learn that the twins are lifeguards this summer along with Winston(yays) and Nina(ya win some ya lose some) and two other kids we haven't met yet. Don't get excited they tre lame. The first other roomie turns out to be Ben Mecer who is hopelessly trying to get Jessica to like him, also he's apparently in Mensa. I'm pretty sure if your smart enough to be in Mensa, you're too smart to want Jessica to like you. I mean come on everyone knows that smart people just know stuff, they can sense psycho. It's like gay-dar. It's not scientifically "real" but it happens right? Anyways he chases Jessica the whole book like a lost puppy. When he meet Jessica and Elizabeth formally Jessica is painting her nails and he says to Elizabeth
"uh-oh. There's a continuity problem. You're not wearing any nail polish."  
Seriously? There's a continuity problem? I've been saying this for years. Years.
The second roomie is Wendy. See the Winston plot below.

Meanwhile Jessica wants the king of the book title Ryan Something. I'm not going to lie, I don't care enough to look it up to find out. Why do last names matter anyways? I mean come on tons of people don't know there friends last names. Ashamedly so I just learned my Dad's girlfriend's last name three months ago and they've being going out for like two years. Anyways Ryan is the original brooding emo because last summer when he took a day off some kids swimming drowned. I understand he feels guilty and everything but his emo gets on my nerves, especially because he is all nice one second and then he raging mad. Yes I said raging mad. It's a funny phrase. Ok so Nina's boring plot. Byran is in DC working on an internship for the summer and Nina understands but is mad at the same time. This slacker beach bum named Paul works at a nearby surf shop and Nina likes him. Uh yeah that's it. Remind me again why Nina is in these books? She has boring plots and acts all self righteous. It's quite irritating. Winston plot(yays) he makes friends with a girl named Wendy whose major plot is that she's plain looking. Not ugly just plain. The book reminds us more often than it reminds us that J&E are twins. I don't really get why it keeps mentioning it because she is totes fine with it. Come to think of it I don't know anyone who died from not being pretty enough. Huh, maybe I just don't watch the news enough. In pretty much the middle of the lifeguard training we learn that none of them actually have jobs here. They are just training then trying out for the lifeguard jobs. So why did they rent a house here when they didn't have jobs here? No answers. Lame. Everyone makes the squad except Winston. Anyways moving on. Some hunky singer guy named Pedro Paloma vacations at Sweet Valley Shore. This will be important later. Wendy and Winston(reminds me of Waldo and Wanda haha) find a stray dog with beautiful eyes like Pedro Paloma so they name him Pedro Paloma. This will be important in the next book.  Wendy and Winston are pretty obsessed with celebrities and decide that Winston should open a celebrity house tour business for his summer job. He names it Winston's Celebrity Beach House Tours. Seriously I couldn't make this stuff up. When he does the tours people are tearing up the lawns of the houses on the tour by picking flowers and walking on the grass. The police officer in charge of the beach talks to Winston and basically says nice try but knock it off.  Later in the book Pedro runs into Winston in a bar and he bribes Winston to take his house off of Winston's Celebrity Beach House Tours. Anyways he bribes him with money but Winston tells him instead he wants him to take Wendy on a date(Wendy is obsessed with Pedro). He agrees and goes to ask Wendy out. No one tells Wendy that her date is because of a bribe. She goes on the date and has fun but Pedro spills the beans about the date being a trade to get his house off the tour. She gets mad at Winston and they fight but later they make up. OK the last storyline. The Elizabeth storyline. Your trembling with excitement I can feel it. Anyways she likes the head lifeguard Ryan, but shes still going out with Tom(he's too busy to call her btw). Ryan is hard on Elizabeth because she keeps screwing up during lifeguard training. She screws up constantly. She gets slightly better and still makes the squad. At almost the end of the book they kiss and Jessica see from far away(remember Jessica wanted Ryan). Jessica gets mad at Elizabeth and stays mad at her. Elizabeth realizes that Ryan was just hard on her during lifeguard training because he likes her. Uh no no no, it's because you kept screwing up and if that happens when your on duty people die. Grrr.

Bonus quote
"I remember this song" Jessica said. "It was popular when I was in high school" 
When you've been in high school for 30 years that's a joke all it's own.

I'm already almost halfway through the next one so the next recap will be soon:)

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Super Thriller #11 "R" for Revenge

This book is actually not terrible so I thought I might shake things up a bit and do a short short recap then some quotes. Enjoy.

Sorry the covers look a little messed up, I don't have a camera so I use google images.

Inside flap.

 So basically there is this crazy lady who got tormented by cheerleaders when she was in school in the 70s so she kidnaps and tries to kill the current cheerleaders. "M" for misplaced anger much? Side note Lila is a fill in cheerleader. Don't worry I know what your thinking she also expresses that shes a little too sophisticated to be a cheerleader. I know it's true because I was a cheerleader. Yeah I lie about that sometimes. By sometimes I mean alot. Lol on to the quotes.

"After all, Paula Abdul had started as a cheerleader." Jessica page 57

And look where it got her, washing down Valium with fifth of vodka.

"A song she didn't recognize erupted into the basement in a blast of guitars. "Welcome to my nightmare, " howled the lead singer" Jessica page 188

Ouch! Don't reference Alice Cooper and mess it up. What "Blast" of guitars? It's light and sweet in this one. See below.

The psycho killer lady in this book was in school in the 70s when she was tormented by the cheerleaders so when she kidnaps them she uses her favorite old songs to drown out the noise of the cheerleaders being prisoners in her basement, therefore there is a lot of music references.  I think they just googled 'music of the 70s' and added random songs. I'm not trying to be mean but it's really quite amusing. This song is too slow and quiet to drown out the noise. I can't find a louder or faster version of it either so one point for this Alice Cooper fanatic.

Super recap! Vampire mini series SVH#126 Tall, Dark, and Deadly, #127 Dance of Death, #128 Kiss of a Killer

Jessica falls in love with a vampire. Seriously.

I'm just going to put myself out there and admit it. I love love love this cover! Big scary ass house, old school dress, dark scary sky. Love it. Ok now that I got that out on to the book :) Jessica is at the Dairiburger with the girls and Elizabeth is on a date with Todd. Jessica is showing her friends the earrings that her grandmother got her. After when everyone leaves she realizes that she lost one. Thinking it might have gotten thrown out with the trash Jessica and Lila dumpster dive for it. Seriously Jessica and Lila dumpster dive. They don't find the earring but they do find a kitten and a dead body in the bottom of the dumpster. The police sort it all out and find out that it's a never before mentioned yet always been there character from Big Mesa. Also Jessica decides to keep the kitten. The next school day there is an assembly because of the murder and oh yeah there is conveniently a new gothic kid. Everyone thinks hes hot/cool. This surprises me because different people haven't been treated well in the past. Logic doesn't belong. Yet I never learn.  Anyways Jessica decides shes in love with him and Elizabeth hates him because he knocked into someone in the hall and didn't say sorry. Jessica does a whole bunch of crap to make him like her but he resists her. Also the whole school goes gothic. Yes in Sweet Valley. I used to be gothic so this amuses me. Enid becomes super goth and decides she loves Johnathan.

The new emo boys including Todd basically tell Johnathan that everyone is having a party at his house. Yes you read that right. Todd. Emo. Emo Todd. Lol. Anyways rudeness aside they have the party and Amy's conviently newly introduced cousin dies by having her blood drained. Stupid vampire killing off boring never heard of before characters. Also Jonathan makes out with Enid then rejects her. Now he likes Jessica. That was pretty much this whole stupid wonderful book. Really.

This scene kinda actually happens. Cool. At Amy's cousins funeral Enid stays after and kinda breaks down. So being our friendly neighborhood Vampire Jonathan attacks Enid and nearly kills her but she lives. So the kids in town decide to kill the killer. Seriously. Yeah I love these books. Jessica and Johnathan are chillin at his secret lair. Yep awesome. He gives Jessica a ring that allows him to survive in the sun. The SVH gang comes and runs him off and he turns into a hawk and flies away. The ring Jonathan gave Jessica disapears from her hand and leaves a burn/ blister. I feel like I made this more boring than it really was but hey I tried. Side note this is where the drawn covers end in SVH. Don't really know how I feel about this.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

SVH #125 Camp Killer

Theres a book that  goes in the middle but I dont have it, as per usual it gives us a recap. The guy Jessica likes is a jerkface but she still likes him and Nicole and Joey were hanging out but now Joey is back to cheating with Elizabeth. Seriously thats it. Anyway Joey retells the camp legend the only part thats different is that after the story ended there were a series of murdered hikers in the woods by the woodsmans house and now sometimes you can still here the woodsman chopping wood. Nicole sets out to be a jerkface scare Elizabeth by making her think the woodsman super hiker killer is out there chopping wood and waiting to kill her. A bunch of boring camp themed shannaigans happen then Jessica and one of her campers get kidnapped by a escaped killer but not the one from the legend. I know right? Anyways the kids all decide to go save them and screw it up but it works out as usual. I remeber loving this book but now I realize it's like 90% filler. Next up Jessica dates a vampire. Seriously.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Sweet Valley High #123 Elizabth's Rival

Elizabeth, Jessica, Winston, and Lila are junior counsolors at camp Echo Mountain. No seriously thats what it's called. The best part(for Elizabeth) is that Maria Slater from SVT is going to be a junior counsolor too. Naturally they are really excited to hang . Also Maria is moving back to Sweet Valley after this summer and she is bringing a friend to camp who she thinks will be great friends with Liz. Yeah um sure. A few books ago was the whole gang wars/surfing thing where Jessica's boyfriend dies so for the summer she has sworn of men. Very un-Jessica like but whatever, she's actually being human. Lila is ready for a summer of love. Winston is......not really in the book except for the casual mention. That makes me sad. So they get to camp and they unpack there stuff and Elizabeth decides that she is going to write the camp play and so she takes over the whole desk. I found this very assumptive and rude and Elizabeth. A fellow counselor comes in to unpack her stuff and takes over the desk and puts Elizabeth's stuff in a box. Also rude. I should be the manners police. I'm going to put that as my job on facebook. Maybe. Anyways Elizabeth finds Maria and she meets Maria's friend, the girl who took over the computer desk. Lame. Jessica's campers copy everything she does. Lila's campers mock her and are mean, she meets a guy who is obsessed with the outdoors and outdoor stuff. Elizabeth's campers hate her and never listen to her and they get the whole camp to call her 'Dizzy Lizzy'.  Everyone has a campfire one night and the camp owner tells everyone a 'true' scary story, This guy was weird or maybe a little disturbed its not really clear but he lived in the woods and worked at the camp, he fell in love with a counselor at the camp but the counselors are not allowed to do that stuff and the camp owner told them to quit it, the girl went to her room and cried for two days, the owner finally goes to see the poor girl after TWO DAYS and the girl is missing, all her stuff was still there too but the woodsman was also missing without taking his stuff. Elizabeth writes her camp play based on this and Nicole steals when Elizabeth is out with her campers. Elizabeth confronts her about it and Nicole admits to what happened but they are interrupted by a noise outside. Lila keeps pretending that she is outdoorsy for the guy she like and eventually they both admit that they are rich kids who hate camping. Jessica has a camper that videos everything and Jessica learns that Nicole confession is on one of the tapes and she plays it for everyone. Elizabeth is back in everyones good graces. Again.

SVH Magna Edition The Evil Twin

And because I'm so nice here is the inlet.

So it's Christmas time and the twins hate each other because of the whole Elizabeth killed Jessica's boyfriend but it wasn't her fault thing. Seriously Wikipedia it. The twins are fighting because Jessica tricked Elizabeth and Todd into breaking up and then she went out with him. So this crazy chick Margo who looks like the twins is running around pretending to be them and plotting to kill Elizabeth and take over her life. Seriously she wants to be Elizabeth. I thought about it though and she can take over being Elizabeth and slowly make her more cool, or she can take over being Jessica and be stuck listening to Liz FOREVER. I think she made the right choice. She has this guy James working for her, spying on the twins and dating Jessica. I love this book but it's got a ton of filler. Basically what happens it at Lila's new years party Margo tricks Elizabeth into going out to the pool house and tries to kill her but Jessica saves Liz and Margo falls through the glass window and dies.