Sweet Valley University Recaps

Monday, May 24, 2010

SVU #7 Good-bye to love

This awesome classic opens with Lila lounging by the pool about to call Jessica when her husband arrives home and gives her a diamond necklace. It's a sweet short scene.

Jessica is in her room>gasp

Steven is helpfully recaping the last few books chatting with Billie about Mike. Billie is really tired of Steven whining so much and being so cranky and nonfunctional about Mike. Mike has decided it's somehow Steven's fault all of this happened. Sure. H8 Mike so much. Steven gets home and Billie is not there.

Next theres a super important scene where Jessica and Elizabeth recap the last few books plots involving them. We do learn a few new things though, Celine got the smallest punishment ever for helping try to kill Elizabeth(given she did save Elizabeth but she still did a whole bunch of other crap she shouldn't get away with)Celine has to work in the lunch room as punishment. Wouldn't that just make it easier to poison everyone? William is in an asylum. For some unnamed reason Peter Wilborne got away with no punishment at all. Jessica's annulment is almost final. Todd is still bugging Elizabeth. Really? Get a clue! Do we need a H8 Todd club? Bruce Patman inherited a shitload of money from an uncle or something. Grrrr. Tom and Elizabeth are getting along very well. Jessica agrees to meet Elizabeth for dinner in the lunch room.

Next is a really sad scene. Lila is on the beach and her husband is jet skiing. Something is wrong with the jet ski and it explodes and he dies. It's so freaking sad. I loved Lila and her husband, it was a way more deserving of a spin off than Elizabeth.

On to Nina and Bryan. Can we please just through them one good plot? No? Fine. Nina can't make it to the next Black Students Union meeting because she has a very important physics test. This makes Bryan cranky. He doesn't understand why the test is so important. Um ok then. If she flunks out she wont be able to be in the Black Students Union because well it's for students. To be honest it's odd reading about them because it's practically highlighted in every paragraph that they are african american. I honestly wonder how the ghostwriter got away with it.

Lunch time. Elizabeth and Tom are in line and Elizabeth still on her diet but slimming down get a bowl of cottage cheese, a peach(to slice on the cottage cheese),and a small wilted green salad. They notice Todd and Alex sitting at a table together. Elizabeth and Tom sit at an empty table and start eating lunch. Todd conveniently comes over to ''borrow some ketchup''. Sure Todd. Tom tells him to get one from another table. Elizabeth gives him the ketchup and he takes it back to his table with Alex. Elizabeth sees Jessica sitting with Isabella and some of the Thetas and realizes she was supposed to have dinner with her. Sorry it's not lunch time, it's dinner time. A few tables over Todd and Alex talk about how life sucks and the people they used to love don't love them now. It's lame. I sense pity sex.

Jessica and Isabella are walking along campus. Isabella is going with Danny to a cafe where they serve FORTY different kinds of tea. Sign me up. They chat about dinner the night before and Isabella tells her that she's not sure that Jessica can ever be a Theta because of her 'social track record' at SVU. Danny finds them and Isabella has to leave, Jessica asks if she wants to eat together tonight and Isabella says she has a Theta dinner. Jessica realizes that everyone but her has places to go and things to do. So thinks that she could go and see Mike but she decides against it. She decides to go for a drive.

William White's lawyer basically basically tells him to pled insane because he can go to a high class psychiatric hospital rather than go to prison.

Elizabeth and Tom taking a study break and they are making out. Elizabeth is freakishly surprised that kissing Tom feels so good, and that it turns her on. I find this funny because she made out with like ninety guys in SVH, but whatev. The phone rings and she says she has to answer it because of all the stuff thats been going on with Jessica. She answers it and it's Todd. He's all needy and wants her to start working on the story and she says she will and to go away  that she will call him later. Tom gets all jealous and Elizabeth tells him that she has to practice the poem she has to read for her english class. As she is practicing someone slips a note under the door. They go to see who it was but of course they ran away. It's a note that says ''You are mine''. Instead of doing something about this they think it's from Todd. Elizabeth wonders where he was calling from when he called because he lives all the way across campus, if he was calling from home how did he have the time to get over there and put the note under her door?

Lila is coming back to Sweet Valley!
Lila is coming back to Sweet Valley!
Lila is coming back to Sweet Valley!
Lila is coming back to Sweet Valley!
Lila is coming back to Sweet Valley!
Lila is coming back to Sweet Valley!
Lila is coming back to Sweet Valley!
Lila is coming back to Sweet Valley!
Unadulterated awesomeness is about to arrive!
The Theta girls love Lila but Jessica gets a little left out. Allison tells Lila in private that Jessica might get to re-pledge if and only if Lila pledges. Lila is missing her husband and feeling like she doesn't belong at SVU. She has an awkward first day but things get a little better.

Todd and Alex wake up after being drunk the night before and think they slept together. Did they or didn't they? DUN DUN DUN! Yeah I don't care either but I digress.

Steven misses Billie. Billie eventually moves back in. It's lame and a half.

Denise and Bruce go out on a date for no apparent reason. Winston is jealous.

Celine is the one messing with Elizabeth and leaving her notes and all. She gets Elizabeth's neighbor to think that she likes him and he leaves an invite on her door to his cello concert. She goes with Tom and the guy dedicates a song to her and embarrasses her. It's actually quiet clever of Celine I must say.

Elizabeth and Tom one week anniversary is the night Elizabeth is supposed to read this poem for a class. She buys Jessica three dresses so she will pretend to be her and read the poem that night. She does and she meets James Montgomery. Foreshadowing insues! Elizabeth and Tom have a moonlight picnic. Then they go back to his place and don't have sex.

William escapes and plans to go to Elizabeth.

Mike and Steven are trapped in Mike's apartment with a gas leak.

Friday, May 14, 2010

SV #85 Elizabeth the seventh-grader.......Wait what?

For no aparent reason a random Sweet Valley Twins recap. Sorry this is the best image Bing could come up with but you get the idea. So on to the recap.

While they are having dinner on Monday night Jessica asks Elizabeth if she wants to go to the mall later and Elizabeth is all distracted like and helpfully tells us that they are eating alone tonight because their parents are at a meeting with Elizabeth's teacher and they have no idea what it's about. Elizabeth is worried that she will get kicked out of school for failing everything. Well she's not Karen from Mean Girls so I'm guessing that wont happen.

If you haven't seen it she's a mouse. Or just slow depending on how your looking at it.

So Ned and Alice get home and tell Elizabeth that she's doing so well in school that her teachers suggest she skip a grade. Yeah that's right title has actual relevence to what happens in the book. So the next morning the twins chat as they walk to school. Jessica is upset that Tom McKay's party is only going to be for seventh and eighth graders. So basically she's just mad she didn't get invited.

That night at dinner Elizabeth tells Steven and Jessica that she is going to be in the seventh grade. Jessica is all upset that she can't cheat off Elizabeth anymore they won't be able to ''study'' together anymore. Later Steven tells Jessica to pretend she thinks it's great so Elizabeth will realize by herself that it sucks. Ok then.

Elizabeth tells Amy about moving to seventh grade. Amy is excited for her but she will miss her. Elizabeth can't work on the sixth grade paper anymore so Amy is elected the editor. I'm not sure Amy can tie her shoes by herself.....so is this really a good idea? She also wont be able to go on the sixth grade camping trip. Jessica hangs out with Elizabeth's friends to plan the trip and to annoy her.

Elizabeth has alot of seventh grade work to catch up on and stuff so she really busy but  manages to do really well with her school work. She tries really hard to fit into the social scene but you can tell the other girls arnt buying it. Everyone keeps talking about Tom McKay's up coming party and Jessica and Steven really try to psych her out about how ''wild''  seventh grade parties are. I wasn't popular in school so I don't really know but I'm pretty sure it will be lame and a  half.

So she goes to the party all psyched out about how crazy it will be and it's pretty lame. They play spin the bottle and Elizabeth doesn't understand the game and she has to go first and when she learns she has to kiss Bruce she wants to leave and her friend Mary I think helps to bail her out saying they have to leave.

Elizabeth tells Jessica that the party was great but later Jessica finds out what happened. The next day at school some of the girls from the party tell Elizabeth that since she didn't kiss Bruce at the party she has to kiss Bruce at school in front of everyone on Friday.

Elizabeth gets crazy psyched out about it and she almost kisses him but then doesn't. Jessica leaves for the camping trip and Elizabeth plans on moping around the house until Alice asks her to run an errand. Surprise they get to the camping spot and they all welcome Elizabeth back to sixth grade. Alice and Elizabeth's teacher tell her that they didn't realize she was not fitting in socially. Everyone is happy and all is well.